


Kiss Me

by NeonDomino



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Break Up, Dramatic Sirius Black, Eavesdropping, Feelings, Hurt Remus Lupin, Idiots in Love, Jealous Sirius Black, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Misunderstandings, Remus was dating a muggle, Sirius Black is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:01:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25530100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonDomino/pseuds/NeonDomino
Summary: Remus was forced to choose between his best friend Sirius, and his boyfriend. He would always choose Sirius.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 124





	Kiss Me

**Author's Note:**

> **Written in 2014**  
> 

* * *

* * *

Remus paced back and forth across his flat. It had been a difficult day, an emotional one. He had a massive argument with his best friend, who had spent six months ignoring him. He had gone back to apologise, and before even getting a chance to knock on the door, he had managed to overhear the conversation between Sirius, James and Lily.

A conversation that was clearly not meant for his ears.

A confession that he doubted would ever have been made to him.

* * *

His hand rubbed over his eyes as he contemplated what to do. He heard the fire engage, as someone attempted to Floo call him. Sirius' voice came through, calling for him, begging Remus to let him explain, to let him apologise. Remus ducked behind the sofa so he couldn't be seen, so Sirius would think he wasn't there.

Sirius didn't know that he had heard the conversation. Sirius didn't know that Remus knew he had kept a secret for a long time now.

Finally the voice coming through the floo let out a sigh, and called his name one last time before disappearing.

Remus couldn't talk to him. He needed time to think. He needed to know what to do.

But no matter how hard he thought about it, the answer was always clear.

He wanted Sirius Black. He had always wanted him before he even knew that he wanted men. It was all about Sirius Black. Sirius was the bright spot in his life.

Sirius was the one that decided to become an Animagus. Sirius was the one that healed him after a transformation.

Sirius was the one that would turn up on his doorstep when he was depressed, forcing his way in when Remus tried to stop seeing people. Sirius was the one who dragged him out of that depression, sleeping on his sofa, making Remus feel like he was worth something.

The rest of his friends looked out for him too, but Sirius went beyond all that.

And that's why he loved him.

But things had changed. He had spent too much time watching Sirius jump from relationship to relationship, and he had tried to find one himself. After a few disastrous attempts, he had met a muggle; Simon. They had been together for six months.

Maybe he should have realised that his relationship and Sirius' sudden disappearance from his life had happened at the same time, but he never thought that Sirius would be jealous.

All Remus knew was that he would be choosing between Sirius and Simon, even if it was just for Sirius' friendship, he would have to choose. He knew without a doubt that he would always choose Sirius Black, even if he was so angry and confused at the other man.

* * *

_"Sirius, we need to talk about this, don't you even care about our friendship anymore? Just tell me you don't and I won't bother you again?" Remus shouted._

_"Is that what you think? That I don't give a shit? Well, you got that wrong, Remus, just like you got everything else wrong," Sirius spat. "Maybe this friendship hasn't been what I wanted for a long time."_

_"What's that supposed to mean?" Remus asked. "Wait, don't bother. I understand perfectly. You don't want my friendship, so let me make it easy for you." Remus stormed out of the house, and apparated seconds after he heard Sirius call his name._

_He had lasted only a few minutes before he realised that it could be the end of his and Sirius' friendship. Wasn't that something worth fighting for? It was Sirius and after all Sirius had done for him, he was not about to lose him. Sirius was the most important person in his life. He apparated back, ready to fix it, and walked to the still open door._

_"Fuck, I didn't mean it like that, he know that, right?" Sirius said._

_"I'm sure he'll realise," James replied. "Although you could have chosen better words. You left that right open for Remus to take it the wrong way. You know Moony is insecure, he's going to think that you don't want to be his friend."_

_"I don't... well, I do, but I don't just want that. I want more, I've always wanted more and you know that Prongs. How could stupid Simon just waltz in and steal him away so easily? I can barely keep my feelings in around Remus, and Simon just takes him from me. Why is he better than me?"_

_"He's not better than you, he's just a muggle -"_

_"And what is wrong with being just a muggle?" Came Lily's voice._

_"Nothing, love," James quickly replied. "As I was saying, he's just a muggle that Remus met. You are his closest friend. You've helped him through so much, but you haven't been very forthcoming with your feelings for him. I told you he wouldn't stay single for long, but you never said anything to Remus to show that you wanted to be with him, so of course he was going to find someone. You should have told him."_

_"Told him what? Should I have freaked him out by telling him I've been in love with him since I was sixteen? Or that I have really naughty dreams about him, ones that get followed by a very lonely shower, that involves daydreams about -"_

_"Sirius, stop being a prat," Lily scolded._

_"Fine. What could I have really said though? It's not easy changing friendship into something more. I guess I never saw an opportunity to tell him how I felt about him, and then Simon comes on the scene, and I can't even bear to be around Remus because I knew I'd do or say something stupid, and I can't bear to hear him talk about how perfect things between him and the muggle are."_

_"The muggle has a name," Lily pointed out._

_"I don't care if he has a name, I hate stupid Simon, I want Remus, I bloody love him, and I've ruined our friendship and now he hates me. I... should I go to his house?"_

_Remus quickly slipped back out, apparating home before Sirius left the Potter's house and saw him._

* * *

It took a week. He had ignored the constant attempts of Sirius trying to contact him, and he ignored the couple of texts from Simon. Simon was nice, he was safe... but he was a muggle. He didn't know about the Wizarding world or about Werewolves.

Sirius was arrogant and hotheaded, but the other man always had Remus feeling like there were butterflies in his stomach with just one glance in his direction. He had a cruel streak, but he was fiercely loyal, and Remus' Lycanthropy had never been an issue between them.

Finally he left his apartment, and headed to meet Simon for a walk. It was unfair to Simon, but there had never really been any doubt over who he would pick if he had to choose.

* * *

"The alert's gone off, he's left his apartment," Sirius said, jumping up from James' sofa, where he had settled himself for the last week. James wasn't really certain why that had happened, Sirius could have just easily flooed home, but had declared himself unable to be alone.

"Where are you going?"

"To follow him," Sirius said, pushing off the blanket, which apparently smelt like Remus, and that Sirius had clung to for the past few days whilst muttering about how Remus would never forgive him.

"I'm going to see how pissed off he is, and to work out a way to make it better."

"You mean you haven't worked out a way yet?" Lily said, sighing.

Sirius shook his head. "I'll improvise," he said. "I'm good at that."

"No, you're not," James mumbled.

* * *

"Simon... It's been six months, and I've been thinking this past week about something important," Remus began. He had never broken up with someone before, and he realised that he should have thought it through a bit more. Maybe prepared what he was going to say. He was never one for anything that involved confrontation.

"Really?" Simon replied, smiling.

"Yeah, I just think it's time to... you know..." Remus said, awkwardly.

"Yeah, yeah, I think that's a good idea," Simon replied.

Remus let out a sigh of relief, glad that Simon realised what he meant. "Great. So, I've got a few things of yours at mine -"

"And I'll start getting my bits together. Or do you want to move in with me?"

Remus frowned in confusion. "What?"

"I just thought, since my place is bigger..."

"I... why would I move in with you, I mean, this isn't... we're not..."

"We're not what, Remus?" Simon asked, the eager smile on his lips disappearing.

"Our relationship is causing problems between me and Sirius," Remus explained. "Sirius is my best friend, I can't lose him." He was still uncertain what to do with the fact that Sirius was in love with him, but he knew for certain that he wasn't willing to lose Sirius. Simon had to go.

"Is it because he's in love with you?" Simon asked, his smile dropping. "You found out and want to be with him?"

"What?" Remus asked, in shock.

"Look Remus, I really like you, you are really nice, we're good together. I don't give a crap about where you work or where you disappear to every full moon, or all these little weird things..."

"Little weird things?"

"I smelt those bottles in the back of your desk drawer, they were rancid, but they had Wolfsbane written on them. I don't even know what that is, but it's not normal. You have strange books in your bedside table, right at the back. Your pantry is freezing, although there is no reason whatsoever for it to be that cold. You disappear once a month on a full moon, and you keep reappearing with new scars. You change the subject when I ask what boarding school you went to. You're full of secrets, and weird things happen around you lot. People appear in your house without coming through the door and -"

"Wait, you went through my desk? Through my nightstand? Do you make a habit of going through my place?"

"I just wanted to know about the other strange things."

"Lets add invasion of privacy to this," Remus said, feeling annoyed. Who did Simon think he was, going through Remus' place? "I do like you, Simon, but you know I'm a private person and you've just taken it upon yourself to snoop around my place."

"If you told me more -"

"It's only been six months. I don't need to tell you anything," Remus interrupted. "Look, it's come down to a choice between my boyfriend and my best friend, and to me that's not even a choice. I'm sorry, but I'll always choose my friends."

Simon stared at him for a long time. "So why do you disappear on a full moon and return looking ill and with extra scars and bruises?"

Remus looked at him, not uttering a word.

"Did you know that your oven hasn't worked in at least two months, yet you manage to cook on it somehow?"

Remus bit his lip. He hadn't realised Simon was keeping track of all this.

"I know there's something different about you, Remus. I know you're special, and I worked out why anyone with 'powers' like yours would be gone on a full moon. Your friends call you Moony. Are you a Were-"

"Obliviate," Remus shouted, his wand pointed at the man. He had no choice now. He erased most of their relationship from Simon's mind. He left enough for Simon to know when people said his name, but not enough for Simon to ever wonder about the books or the oven, or the full moon."

"Simon, it's over," he said softly, before turning and walking away from the confused man. As he walked, his gaze fell on a large dog, and he paused briefly.

"If you want to talk, I'll be at home."

* * *

The black dog kept his distance as he followed Remus home. He hesitated in the doorway of the sitting room, just watching Remus curl up in his chair, his eyes on the fireplace. Finally Sirius couldn't bear the silence any longer, and took a seat on the end of the sofa, as close to Remus as possible.

"I'm sorry," he began. "I didn't mean what I said the other day. It came out wrong. You are one of the most important people in my life, I'd never want you to disappear out of it. I swear I'll do whatever it takes to fix this, I didn't think you'd break up with him, I..."

"What did you think was going to happen? The problem is that for the last six months it feels to me that I've meant next to nothing to you, and for that same six months, I've been in a relationship. Clearly Simon was the problem, so I done the only thing I could do and ended it."

"Remus, I'm sorry, I never meant for you to feel like you meant nothing to me."

"Well, you did. I know you heard everything I said earlier, and I would always choose my friends over someone I'm dating, but I shouldn't have to."

"Please, Remus -"

"Tell me, why?" Remus demanded. It was one thing hearing the words when he was eavesdropping, but he wanted Sirius to tell him the truth. He wanted to see that Sirius wasn't lying.

"Because... shit, Remus, please don't make me -"

"Tell me, or leave," Remus muttered, tiredly. "I've just broken up with him for you. I need to know if this is something that'll happen every time I meet someone, or is there something else here that you haven't told me? Because if you did this for nothing, I won't be very forgiving."

"It wasn't for nothing, I was... jealous," Sirius whispered. "I'm so sorry, I... may have some feelings that -"

"The truth," Remus insisted. "Sirius, please. Let's just... let's stop this. I'm not going to force you to tell me the truth, but you can't act like you have without any proper explanation."

Sirius took a deep breath. "I love you. I hate Simon, and I love you. I bloody love you. I am in love with you and he tried to steal you away from me."

"He didn't steal me away, if you had just told me... it wouldn't have been like this."

"I know, but you don't hate me, do you?" Sirius asked, grabbing Remus' hand. "Please don't hate me."

"Why would I hate you? You can't control how you feel or who you love," Remus said, moving from the armchair onto the sofa, so he was closer to Sirius. They didn't have to lean over to hold Sirius' hand. "For the record, I fell for you years ago. I know what it's like to be so jealous, do you know how often I had to feel my heart break when you took others to your bed, and I was overlooked time after time?"

"It wasn't like that, I just never realised how I felt, and then when I did, I didn't know what to do about it. There was never a moment where I could push past that friendship line. Now I know how you feel, I'll wait as long as you need. I only want you."

Remus moved closer, and let his lips brush against Sirius' cheek, and the corner of his lip, before he pressed his forehead to Sirius'. His heart was pumping hard.

"Would you just kiss me already?" Sirius whispered.

Remus grinned and leaned in, letting his lips meet Sirius' soft ones.

* * *

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> **  
> [TUMBLR](https://neondomino.tumblr.com/)  
>  **  
> 


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